SingleNights

Did you know that you can experience the magic of making up through forgiveness? It seems like such a simple thing, yet so many experiencing complications in their relationships simply miss it. Many feel as if forgiveness involves the act of agreeing with another person, or condoning words and/or behaviors that they actually feel are inappropriate. This perception of forgiveness has been held throughout history.

Well, wake up. Know that this commonly held and traditional view is not always correct. Forgiveness is not always rigid. Rather, it is an act that is liberating. If you are capable of forgiving, you are less plagued with emotional baggage and resentment. In this guide, you will learn five steps to take on your journey to giving and receiving forgiveness from the person you love.

1. The first step to forgiving your partner is to get out all that you are frustrated over. In many cases, it is best to first write out how you feel. You should do it in such a way that only you see what you write. Write down every detail, every emotion, and vent every bit of anger that you are able to. Once you get it out, you will feel better. Then, you can take the highlights, or the more serious issues, and figure out a way to contend with them. From here, you may need someone other than your partner that you can vent to. This could be a professional, or it could be a higher power, such as God. The choice is yours, but it is a step that should be engaged in.

2. Analyze the problem objectively. Once you’ve composed yourself, find out how your words or actions contributed to the conflict. Chances are that no matter how minute they were, your actuations were indeed partly responsible for the problem. Don’t let your partner get all the blame.

3. Draft an action plan. Now that you know what the issue is and what your role was in a conflict, do your best to make up for your shortcomings. Consider the changes which can improve your relationship. While its good to eye your partners happiness, take care not to sacrifice your values and beliefs. Strike a healthy balance between standing for your values and learning the art of compromising.

4. Pause, retrace your steps and ask yourself again, Am I still angry? If your answer is yes, repeat steps 1 to 3. Analyze the cause of your anger. Know with whom and why you are still being resentful. Remind yourself that you cannot move forward if youre unwilling to forgive. If your answer is no, congratulate yourself. You’re ready to proceed.

5. Confess to your partner. In the interest of open communication, don’t keep your partner in the dark about your emotional struggles in the relationship. Use polite and tamed language when you admit to your partner that you were upset about something that was said or done. To avoid putting your partner on the defensive, start your confession with I felt as if and end it with I’m sorry. I forgive you. Will you forgive me too?

Keep resentment and anger at bay. Your relationship will work better when you believe in and actively practice the art of “forgiveness” a relationship solution that works long term and big time.