Making Up Does Not Need To Be Hard
With romantic relationships, there will always be some tough times. Relationships of course have varying levels of disagreement – some couples argue all the time, some argue often, and some rarely argue at all. If a relationship is particularly troubled, it may be difficult to find the right way to go about making up. However, if both people work at it making up does not need to be so hard.
It’s important to think about what one wants in a relationship before making up post-separation. For one, it’s important to make sure that they actually want to be in the relationship. There are many reasons for two people to get back together after a fight, which can be a positive thing. However, if a couple makes up for reasons other than their own happiness, making up can have a negative effect.
One bad reason to get back together is desperation. If someone was bad to you once, they will likely be bad to you again. If they claim to have “changed” they should be able to show you specific things that they have done to improve themselves. If they want to compromise with you, make sure that they will follow through. This does not mean that one should be cynical about all relationships, but to be wary that abusive relationships often stay that way.
An even worse reason to get back together with an ex is to make someone else jealous. This may make the ex’s tender feelings come back. This means that once the “make up” ends, that person may be crushed. This practice thus toys with the emotions of others.
However, if the reasons for the make up are because both members of the couple love each other and want to be in a relationship, then making up is probably a good choice. Of course, both must want to get back together. If only one person wants to, the rejection can be terrible.
Once it has been decided that both people want to begin making up, certain issues and opinions should be set aside for the time being. This can help the healing process. Biases, stubbornness, and pointless social conventions can be ignored and replaced with open and honest talking.
When both members of the couple realize what the problems in the relationship are, they can work them out so that they can fully make up. Simply forgetting about the problem can just make it worse. Also, focusing too much on the details of the problem may simply make the issue seem more important than it is. Thus, it is good to be honest but not too blunt or hurtful. Working the problem out will probably require creative solutions, honest answers, and sensitivity to the feelings of both members of the couple.
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