Is There A Way To Save My marriage?
Love is wonderful, and our commitment to love is expressed through marriage. We celebrate and profess vows. We make promises to one another to stay by each others side in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. These beautiful vows are made with perfect intentions. No matter what comes our way, we will be together ’til death do us part’. Reality may not be what we hoped for; you may end up asking ‘what can I do to save my marriage’?
The short answer is a resounding ‘yes’. In fact, there are a number of options to try depending on your situation. Marriages are saved, and lost love rekindled, every day. You may feel your situation is beyond hope. Perhaps you have felt the sting of ultimate betrayal, such as adultery, or perhaps you have betrayed your spouse and now regret it. Whatever your situation, there is hope. You are not alone. To save your marriage, you need guidance on what to do and what not to do during the reconciliation process. Your desire to repair your marriage, and not have it end in separation or divorce, is why you are reading this article in the first place.
Your marriage is somewhere in the relationship life cycle, which has six stages:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are most likely in the fourth stage and trying to figure out why you decided to marry this other person in the first place. You might be thinking that your life would happier with someone else. Coming to the realization that your dream of a happy marriage is not coming true is very difficult. The love and romance you enjoyed has vanished and the honeymoon stage is a memory. This is absolutely normal, but emotionally challenging. Feelings of closeness, especially sexual intimacy, can decline or disappear completely. At this point, it is common to consider having an affair. If you have this temptation, do not give in. Honor the vows you took and acquire the skills and techniques to reconnect with your partner. This stage is painful and trying. Of course, it also has the greatest reward. To achieve this reward, equip yourself the skills needed to avoid ending up as a marriage statistic.
Questions commonly asked at this point include: what should I do if my partner does not want to make an effort to save the marriage, is there a way I can get past the hurt, will we be able to trust each other again. At this point, you need to be cautious and deliberate. Begging for forgiveness or making promises to change may not get a warm reception. Try on the old clich of walking a mile in their shoes. On the other hand, can you forgive your spouse? It might not be easy. These are serious issues and going for a quick fix is not the answer to transforming your marriage. If fact, it will only lead to more hurt. Most marital difficulties develop with time so they take time to fix. Make the effort to have the skills you need to get to stage 5, reconnection. In the end, you will be glad you did and you will know the answer to the question ‘is there a way to save my marriage’ is a resounding, ‘yes’.
